Not My Type Of Woman

You go through life acting like you’re quite bad,

Telling these dudes you’re the one they wish they had,

Critiquing every girl who is nothing like you,

The recipient of that mouth, you don’t care who.

You only care about one thing and one thing alone,

That you're the one sitting at that lil shiny throne.

And when consulted you claim that you’re grown.

Baby you’re not grown, but excuse me if you are,

There's a little girl in that body,

Maybe you wished on a star?

A grown woman doesn't say "me me me"

No darling she's on that maturity.

When life finally hits you and I promise that it will,

You're going to feel like the Devil's hounds are on your heel,

You're going to run to the first person that you see,

And they're going to look at you like something a bit crazy,

Then they will ask "After how you did me?"

Then you will say something like "Hey that’s the past"

Lets Pause it there and let me lesson you on life right quick,

See the past reflects the future,

They're in your past and you’re not their future.

Lets resume where we left off,

See somethings going to happen, you’re going to wish that it hadn’t

You’re going to blame others, knowing you’re the reason it happened

You’re going to look in the mirror, wondering the error,

You don’t see a thing, blind to whats in plain sight,

Coming back to that mirror Day and Night,

When your life evolves around "me me me"

You will never see in reality who you can really be.

Only For You...

If stars could fly down from Heaven,
I would catch the brightest one for you,
Just to prove to you baby,
How much I really Love You...

It'll be the one that match your eyes,
That match your smile,
The one that reminds me of you...

There's not another like it,
I'll spend my whole life finding it,
So one day I can give it to you,
Just to give it to you...

Baby I know you've been hurt and I have too,
But I can't see myself doing that to you...
Just have trust in me like I have in you,
That's all we need to do...

Just Believe in us, Just you and me,
Don't worry what they say,
'Cuz at the end of the day,
You are my baby...

You became the center of my lonely world,
You showed me the light in the darkness,
The beauty in what I could never see,
The courage in what I could not imagine,
Baby you did that for me,
You do this to me...

You're there for me 24/7,
Why would I need anyone else when I have you,
Baby don't believe those rumors they aren't true,
I can't see myself hurting you,
Never that, I promise you that,
You're the only one for me,
I want to be the only one for you.
I Love You...

And Now Your Soul

Everyone has moments of darkness,
When confusion clouds their mind,
And it rips away at their soul,
Like its feeding from their whole,
But you cannot let it take yours away,
You have to fight it, find the light in it,
If you give up now, Picture this,
All your enemies picking away at your being,
You screaming in pain, like youre going insane,
Who can survive such torture, you may ask yourself,
The answer is no one,
Then you may ask, Why,
And the answer will be because you let them.
You let them in like a fool, you let them know your weaknesses,
You let them eat and sleep in your sanctuary,
You let them in, no one but you.
You ignored the signs of their existence,
You ignored the answers your mind seeked,
But now you choose to search and it is too late.
They are already nearly done with you.
What can you do now and the answer would be nothing.
Now stop picturing that and picture this,
You. Happy.

Dear Diary

Dear Diary,

Sometimes when I am alone, it calls out my name,
And when I call back, I feel insane,
Because when I open my eyes, I am all alone,
As if this caller had gone home,
But who was it that left so quickly?
Why were they here, calling out to me?

I get this feeling all the time,
Like someone's watching me, quiet as a mime.
It always happens in the darkness,
Why do I feel this way, one could only guess.
Am I afraid of the dark, of what could happen there?
Please imaginings I pray don't embark, lets not go there..

And when I sleep..they come there too,
Who are they, I do not know who,
I just know that its them, the ones watching me,
Are they the ones making me dream what I do?
Could they be the fault too,
For those dreams coming true?

What shall I do in this world of mine?
What shall I do, what shall I do,
What shall I do in this world of theirs?
It takes time, it takes time,
Answer me quickly..

Signed,
My Prayers...

Sinful Me

Sin what have you put into my body,
What is it that you want with me?
How have I angered you?
What did I do?

You have robbed me of my happiness,
And embedded me with this darkness,
All that I ask is that you tell me the reason,
Did I commit some kind of treason?

What is this sickness that I feel?
Its in my stomach, I feel ill..
I can feel it sitting there..waiting,
As if my doom, its equating..

I wish you would tell me,
Or leave me alone, let me be,
I do not know what to say,
So I will bow my head now and pray.

Storm of...

As the familiar storm rips away at my heart,
I reminisce over continuing thoughts of you,
Of how at first you were nothing but a stranger,
Then day by day you became much much more,
So much more that I forgot myself,
You became the center of my lonely world,
You showed me the light in the darkness,
The beauty in what I could not see,
The courage in what I could not imagine,
You showed me alot, if only everything,
Maybe then I would not have to suppress these emotions for you,
Maybe then I could hold your heart close to mine,
Maybe then I could show you the passion my soul aches to,
Maybe then you would think of me as I do you,
Ha..but if that would have happened,
I would not be here, bearing this storm,
May Karma let her give you the love that I would have.

Is It Me?

I'll never be enough for you,
Be that woman you want me to,
I can not dare to share our love,
With people I never even heard of,
I can not stand to lose you,
If there was something I could do,

Anything but that,
Everything we've worked at,
Gone down the drain,
Can't you see my pain?
Am I going insane?
I do not mean to complain..

It's just that I love you more than anything,
But you act like that means nothing,
Is it just me? Am I the problem?
Is that why you gave our love to them?
I am sorry but I can not change myself,
A man does not deserve a woman he wants to change herself.

Just be with those women that you see as perfect,
I admit I am not them, as I reflect,
No, No, you can not be my friend,
I feel even that is a pain on end.
So my dearest ex,
Please go on to your next.

Deja Vu

You ever get that feeling of deja vu,
That you have to look around, for that small clue,
Then your eyes land on it, and its like a dream come true,
Asking yourself, "Is this really true?"
You don't believe it, but you really want to.

It makes you feel like, you've done it all before,
And then you take your time, trying to remember for sure,
Needing the answer, more and more,
You don't know exactly, what you're looking for,
Just that, its a feeling that you won't ignore.

It's like you're looking for love, In a loveless place,
Never really knowing, what you will face,
Hoping that, its not a losing race,
Looking for, Love's secret hiding place,
The one thing that should be out of place.

So tell me, have you ever got that feeling of deja vu,
That you had to look around for that small clue,
Then your eyes landed on it and it was like a dream come true,
You had to ask yourself if it was really true,
You didn't believe it, but you really wanted to,
Well thats how I felt when I met you..

Chance

A chance to make you smile,
Is a chance worthwhile,
A chance I would not mind to take,
If it would ease this ache..

I dislike the sound of your heart as it breaks,
Your tears flowing because of someone's mistakes.
But if I could take a chance for a while,
On a path down the aisle..

Dreaming never conjours reality,
Like you would really give that to me,
But if you would,
I wish you could..

To be the next in line,
The chance to make you finally mine,
Show you my heart is your shrine,
If your heart could be thine..

Is a chance worth taking,
If it would ease this aching...

Mr.President

A President has to clean up the Previous mess,
Before they can start on their Address.
We as humans judge to quickly,
Always thinking ever so selfly,
As if he is some superhuman,
But really he's just one man.


It takes one term to clean up a nation,
And we're acting like its the same as cleaning a train station.
Gas prices went up, because of the war,
Blaming the Current for the Previous mistake,
Do you feel like a rake too?
Being elected in the middle of a war, my what that must do to you!
Looking for a job, but no one's hiring?
How about blaming the one thats hiring? Being wrongly accused must be tiring!

He's just one man with the world on his shoulder,
With our complaints adding to that boulder.
But do we care? No we do not.
Those promises on your mind still, are they not?
We accuse him of things we do not know,
For that reason we do not know!

He is a human like you and me,
What else is he supposed to be?
Without support he grows weak,
Who are we to critique?
We've all been weak and could not move,
While we rested this man was forced to prove!

Prove to us that he will bring change,
All we have to do is provide the Range.
Our nation was built on Belief,
But now we are stuck in this grief,
Left to wonder where is the relief,
All because we shunned our chief.

A nation born on something,
Looking in the Mirror at what amounts to nothing.
Will we give the chance for change to come,
Or shrug it away, afraid of the sum?
I for one Belive in Change,
Meet you at the firing range.

Fingerprints

If I were to die, where would I go?
Could I fly, where everyone know?
Would I sleep for a little while,
And wake up to the King's Isle?
What happens when I die?
Am I put in a hole, left staring at the sky?
Or am I burnt to a crisp,
Left to float on a wind wisp?
Will I feel the darkness of the hole?
What happens to my soul?
Am I a ghost or am I whole?
Will I feel the fires of civilization,
As it burns me beyond my nation?
I wonder if the fires are worst than Hell,
Could a preist say? Please pray tell.

Could they tell me what really happens?
Or just preach one of the omens?
Would they ask if I believe in Jesus Christ,
And doubting Him is well high-priced?
I highly think they would,
Still leaving me misunderstood.

But where do I go when I die?
Do I get to say goodbye?
Am I forced to watch life go by?
People calling but I cant reply?

Do I awake to another time I wonder,
Lifes trials left again to encumber,
From death to birth, I'm borned younger.
Past forgotten in my deep slumber.

I bet I would enter this sort of darkness,
That would choke me with its starkness,
It would envelope me in a kind of harness,
The feel of my senses making it enormous,
Like a world of its own, with no amount of harmony,
It would be just the darkness and me,
Or is it the darkness in me?

What happens to me....when I die?

Common Sense

A man does not define the women he has been with.
He doesn't control their smile, their joy, all that life has blessed them with.
Only the women themselves have the power to control those things,
Yes Love hurts and Betrayal stings,
But really who said life was pain free?
I am pretty sure it was not me.

All joking aside, why blame a man for your anger,
When it's you turning yourself into this complete stranger?
Doing all this craziness you normally wouldn't do,
Then when asked, you just say you're doing you.
So you doing you turns you into Two?
You can call me a Liar, but your actions proves it True.

Yes a breakup can cause a Grown Woman to become weak,
But being childish? That's something only little girls seek.
So before you act upon that Evil thought,
Ask yourself is that the way you were Taught.
You were taught to be this Childish Woman,
Who would do these things over One Man?

I would think you were taught to be strong,
It doesn't matter if you feel you were done wrong,
You were taught to be the best that you can be,
To be a Grown Woman for everyone to see,
Not to let something so simple get you down,
And turn you into this farce of a Clown.

So before you blame a man for your next action,
Look into the Mirror for that satisfaction.
And before you call yourself something, like Mature,
Stop doing things so Immature.
Don't call yourself a Grown Woman for sure,
Without knowing exactly what it stands for.

A World Called Fear

Sometimes I hold myself still, and watch life go by,
As if I'm waiting on everything to be goodbye,
Eyes closed, as if I'm afraid to look high,
A fear of heights, do I dare fly?
But here I am and life's gone by,
Body closed out, a truth not a lie,
In this world of mine, mine as in my.

But if I were to be honest, with myself.
Like a woman should be, with herself,
I would reveal, my greatest fear,
No matter if, I shed a tear,
I could reveal I'm afraid, of fear itself,
For it is better than a person being afraid, of them-self,
To be afraid of one-self...
But in all clear honesty,
I'm just afraid to cry, what misery.

Remember Me

Although I am here no longer,
I will always be your loving Mother,
Through the good times and bad,
Of all the memories we have had,
Please my sweet do not be sad.

Rejoice in the life you have been given,
I have had a life well spent, it was worth livin'
Do not let my passing be such an unforgivable sin,
That you can not live your life happy, to it's end,
Just remember me and be happy my dear sweet Ben.

I am sure that you will miss me as I miss you,
But I need you to be strong so that the others may too.

I know that you will always remember that I am gone,
But remember also that your Mother has gone home.

Remember me but forget the Sorrow
And when the sun sets, remember this tomorrow...

What Is Just?

Born into a world of sin,
As children we don't understand,
We don't know what's right and what's wrong,
Just that we have to go along.

Everyone is doing different things around us,
How do we know what's really Just?
Is it what we're taught or what feels right?
Something easily bought or something we have to fight?

Some are taught to kill, some are taught to love,
For the same goal, to reach that place above!
Some are taught that very place doesn't exist,
And for that reason countries are telling their people to enlist!

We're told to work for our money,
But how can we in such a bad economy?
Forced to hustle, Forced to steal,
Then they look down on us, like something ill.

Society itself is nothing but a prison,
Locking us in, but what's the reason?
Threw into this mass of confusion,
Same thought, we need a resolution.

A Woman is Not a Girl

Ever mistook a woman for a girl?
If not then give it a whirl.
But I should warn you first.
That she will leave you oh so versed.
What's the difference you say?
Well let me put it this way.
All that dignity you thought you had.
Gone down the drain, now ain't that sad?
All that charm that made you feel bad,
Makes the girls laugh, now aren't you mad?
Little girls will throw a fit,
Grown women will correct you lickedy split.

Karma

Here is a world in which purpose was stolen,
In which people are only a vessel of themselves,
A world where dreams exist no longer,
Where Hope is drained and sorrow raised.
A place where I intend to take back, what is rightfully mine.
You can be the Knight fighting by my side,
Or you can be the rival, who shrivels to nothing, at my feet.
This is a fight that I plan to win.
You better get the best blacksmith and an even better priest,
Because only the strongest and purest,
Will be enough to pierce this skin and reach this heart.
Enemy of mine, who has done everything, in their power
To bring me down to this hellish pit,
Allow me to introduce, your maker,
The One.
The Only.
My Sword.
Karma.

Unnamed Emotion

Too strong for friendship,
Too pure for sexship,
All I know is,
I want a relationship.

A relationship with you,
A bonding so true.
A wish for you,
Is all that I desire.

Needing your presence,
Wanting your comfort,
Feeling your essence,
Day after Day.

It's more than flirtation,
Larger than infatuation,
Greater than fondness,
This unnamed emotion.

Body of Shame

Living with you, has been like living in Hell,
No matter what I do, you would always yell,
Not at them, but me, as if I was to blame,
For all the world's problems, a burden..a stray..a body of shame,

As if Hate was my first name, you gave me nothing but such,
How I begged for different, you'll never know how much.
As if Love was my last name, it never once came first,
And how like the travelers of the desert, I did thirst.

Day in, Day out, Ugh, how you would shout,
As usual, it seems, I'm what it's about,
Oh..this verbal..yet emotional childish abuse,
how I wish it to end, but no genie, so what is the use?

Word of Hate, from one that you love,
Can cause you to yearn, for that world above.
Two times you've pushed me, to that sinful limit,
A limit so dangerous, a few return from it.

But words are useless, where you are concerned,
you would rather have me staked, then watch me burn,
No, you would have me hung, for the world to see,
A body of Shame, I guess that is me.

Love You Eternal

Looking across the nameless faces, for just one face,
None of them resembles you, not even a trace.
But I pray still, for that small give away,
That lovely smile, that you always sent my way.
My mind knows you're gone, but my heart is yet to wake.
Yet to acknowledge that all these copies are fake.
None shines a light, bright as you my love.
So please send me that smile, from far above.
Come brighten my so dreary day.
Prove to me the words you can no longer say.
A family of Love that lasts Eternally.

Love Page

I find myself flipping through the pages of my mind for you,
Where could you be? If you only knew.
Darling what you do to me...

So many layers, there's been so many players.
Could you be there, are you a player?
If so, what team? Oh, non it would seem,
Darling you're just not there...

A through Z, names getting hazy,
Can't you just appear to me?
If only, love, you were a genie,
How it would be so easy,
Rub the bottle and there you would be!
Three wishes? I wish I wish oh how I wish you were here!
But sadly darling you are not...

But then I searched inside my heart,
Where I should have looked from the start.

Waterfall

A waterfall of Sorrow, Only cries Sadness,
Leaving an earthquake of pain, with nothing to gain,
Just a deep void inside, a Shadow of Loneliness,
But yet still emotions run deeper, who is to say one is sane?
Why else would the stream be flowing?
Or better yet, the darkness growing?
Could it be the Shunning Sun, that leaves it's keep battered?
The eclipse of it all leaving the poor soul Shattered.
A house of anything is bound to break,
But a house of something has no mistakes.

A Poem For Mama

Everyday I thank God for making you my Mother,
When I'm going through pained times,
I remember the things you did to make me stronger, tougher.
Holding me in your arms, telling me it will be alright,
Catching the streaming tears throughout the night,
Ripping away the ropes, the chains, the twines,
That kept me bound from inside out.
But now it's time, for me, to ease your pain,
To take away your sorrow, your grief, your heartache,
And to replace it with not only hope and trust,
But also a Dependability that will ease the ache.
A love to show that I will do anything,
Risk anything, Just to see a smile upon your face.
Mama, I want to ease the strain,
Take away any pain,
I want to be there for you,
Like you were there for me,
I want to make you strong,
Strong like you assembled me.
Mama, I just want you to be forever happy,
Like you made me.

Forget Me Not

Forget me not when I'm dead and gone,
Forget me not when I leave you in this world alone.
Forget not the times we embraced,
Forget not when we were, one, encased.
Forget me not in your of poor,
Forget me not when you're pained to the core.
Forget not when we walked hand-in-hand.
Forget not when our love was so grand.
Forget me not when I promised you my loyalty,
Forget me not in all Life's beauty,
But Remember Me, Remember Me, Remember Me,
For I shall be with you for Eternity...

Color Me Clear

Color me Clear,
I have nothing to hide,
For those who have lied,
I'd shed no tear.

Color me Clear,
See right through me,
Witness my pain of every year.
Observe within it my honesty.

Color me Clear,
Look onto my fear,
For those dear,
waste not a tear,
Just color me Clear.

Color my eyes,
See what I see,
Color my mouth,
So that I may speak,
Color me all over,
Feel what I feel,
All I ask is that you,
Color me Clear...

What Kind of Night

Mindless night,
For this spectacular sight,
Bad vibes take flight,
So lets not fight.
Baby,
Just you and me,
On this mindless night.

Early night,
The stars so bright,
In your eyes,
My sadness dies,
Lets turn out the light,
And mute the cries,
On this early night,
Lets say GoodNight.

Indecision

I'm at the ledge of indecision,
Tears of regret cloud my vision,
But I must make my final decision.
Do I go up? Do I go down?
This is something I did not envision.
Is peace up? or is it down?
Is that water!? I hope I do not drown.
Great...What a time to be a clown...
Oh... I hope I do not fall into Hell...
Maybe its not my turn!
Maybe they did not check the mail!
Yeah, like they have mail here...

Family

To love someone is to cherish them,
By cherishing them you don't let that love dim,
They're your other half,
You know that person, that no matters what, makes you laugh?
You're there for eachother, in either's time of need,
And you don't do it, because it's a good deed.
No, you do it because, you will do anything to make them happy,
It's not always me, me, me!

But you know what? No matter how many mistakes I make,
No matter what there is at stake,
No matter how much I make their heart ache,
They ALWAYS take me as I am,
About that other stuff? They don't give a damn!

They forgive me, They give me love,
That's more than some has even heard of!
They're so loyal, that's important, Loyalty,
All they ask in return is my Honesty.

I have someone more precious than Life itself,
I will never be by myself,
Do you know what I have? And it belongs to just me,
I have Family..

Missing You

When I think of the Days, the Nights,
All the times, that I looked into your eyes,
I remember that they were always warm and full of love.
How I used to think we had something they never heard of!
The days would pass, all I could think of was your mouth..so sweet..so warm..
You always called it "The Eye of the Storm"
But all that mattered to me was kissing you,
It didn't matter that we got in fights,
Because together we always seen things through,
And to this day, I wonder at out GoodByes.

No Entry

Never let the Heart choose for the Mind,
Never let the Soul choose for the Body,
Never letting you back in.
It's time for me to get back on my grind,
Never again gonna fall behind.
You said Jump, I said How High?
You said Come, I said When?
You said I'm your girl, I said you're my guy.
You think of me, so unkind, so unlined.
Please, no whining, because I must decline.
Please let me, to you, remind.
I may be shy, but baby, let me tell you.
You're never getting it like me, so refined.

Victory

So many times she thought she found love,
That maybe her prayers were answered from above.
So many times that she begged and she cried,
To be free from those hands that pried.
Those fingers that proded and those teeth that bit,
Far too early her candle should not have been lit.
For it was of the purest white, the brightest light,
Now remains the wick, locked in fright.
Born into this world, pure as a dove,
Soft as a lily, this result of love.
She's stuck in a world, all on her own,
Many mistake her for being grown.
Acting as if she's a piece of lawn.
Walking all over her, as if it's some fun.
Then leaving her like trash, in the sun.
Shaken and battered she gets to her feet,
Not ready to admit this disgusting defeat,
Pledging one day, Victory.
But the years go by,
Time, it flies.
Memories still with her,
Not ready to say their GoodBye.
So many times she thought she found love,
That she would find a friend, with a hand to lend,
That maybe her prayers were answered from above,
And maybe to her wounds, they would tend.
So many times that she begged and she cried,
That they would open their heart and take her in,
To be free from those hands that pried,
And free from her world of sin.
Those fingers that proded and those teeth that bit,
Take her hand and by her stand,
Far too early, her candle should not have been lit,
Tell her that they understand,
For it was of the purest white, the brightest light,
Someone tough and strong, full of might,
Now remains the wick, locked in fright,
Who can hold her throughout the night,
This is a story that few will know,
But none who will show, the burden they tow,
Eyes kept low, Foot pace slow,
No one heard the little when she said No.
Today stands the woman, tall and strong,
Looking down on all, who have done her wrong,
For today that little girl is now the Victor.

Lesson Learned

Why would I want your boy,
When I have a man?
He's already been my toy,
Don't you understand?

Listen now and Listen good,
He's a thing of my Past,
Of his type the Last,
No way would I leave my man,
For his cheating ass.

See with me, all your boy did was flex,
Lied his ass off, then went out and got sex,
While I was home waiting, he was looking for his next,
No, check that, he was fucking his ex,
That's why I sent him the "Fuck You" text.

Now let me make sure you got this thing understood,
See now, my man treats me good, like your boy never could,
He spends time with me, instead of trying to fuck bitches in the hood,
And when he puts it down, he does it like a grown man should.

Moment of Life

We threw our emotions into the Flame of Life,
Dreaming one day that we will be Husband and Wife,
You're always telling me the things that I want to hear,
Like how you will defeat my every fear,
And the time you said you'd make me shed no tear.
For today, I can open up my heart to you,
Because now I know, you will tell me no lie,
As I look into this mirror and into my eyes,
There's something I cant help but to realize,
I could be looking upon a face drenched in tears,
Hearing story after story, with lie filled ears,
Instead, I have a smile on my face,
That no nightmare could chase,
I have love in each eye,
That will never die,
And I have you in my heart,
I hope that we never part.